That's a fair reply, and I don't necessarily disagree with you (I don't have a strong opinion or much knowledge about Paul Allen in general). However, I think it's a given that people reflexively frown upon speaking ill of the recently (non-criminal) dead. Part of that may be irrational sentiment, but part of it -- IMHO -- is because after a grace period, society is generally OK with criticizing the dead into perpetuity. For example, the world (and HN) seemed nearly unanimous in grieving Steve Jobs in the days/weeks after his untimely death. But I don't think it's at all unpopular nowadays to talk about what a showboating insensitive asshole he is said to have been (e.g. Lisa Jobs's recent memoir).
I do not feel bad for Lisa Jobs one iota. Plenty of people without rich or famous parents get treated much worse than she did. And those people aren't whining (all the way to the bank). Note that Lisa regardless of whether she got any of Steve's money did get a benefit from being associated with him. That is more than the rest of the people in the world with a parental situation of various types get. So I do not feel sorry for her and that even assumes the nominal tails that she told are even true. Guess what? My Dad is gruff as well. I learned to deal with it. I don't think I am unique in that respect. And I wasn't around much for my kids growing up. They were not impacted by it.
Secondly I honestly don't care if Steve was an insensitive asshole. Plenty of nobodies have to deal with this type of person and nobody will even care to listen to them. They will say 'yeah my boss is a dick as well'. And then they will be on to the next topic. Not only that but the truth is nobody is forced to work for Steve and if you get to the point in life of working for Steve you can work anywhere. Most of the other people (who have an abusive situation) don't have that option. That doesn't make it right but quite frankly it's not the end of the world.
And besides he put out great products. I am glad he busted everyone's ass and I get to use what he and his hard driven (and abused) team created. I don't care that he hurt their feelings. Deal with it. I have had my feelings hurt and so have you most likely, right? You deal with it or you try to move to a better situation. That is life.
You know if you need a brain operation and you find the best brain surgeon you are not going to not hire him or her if you find out he or she is a bit mean to his or her employees and/or ignores his or her kids. You will say 'I am dying and I don't care about that'. It's easy for people to say what Steve should have been. But honesty I am just glad he made good products. Most people will not agree with this because they think he could be both the creative guy that he was and nice and calm at the same time.
True about the grace period. However the exception to that is a direct attack on someone close to you in order to defend someone who is not even close or related to you. It goes like this: You are talking to a good friend, a co-worker, relative and so on. They hold a view that is different than yours on a topic. So fine tell them what you think and be honest. But don't do it in a way that screams 'you are wrong for the way you feel and you suck'. Don't get angry and don't get mad at them. Why? If not obvious because they are close to you and the topic or person you are discussing is not. You need them and no sense in burning a bridge.
By the way if you don't remember the early days (because of your age I suppose?) you will not really seat of the pants understand what a 'dick' (for lack of a better way to put it) Bill Gates was. Sure now he looks like 'older wise guy who helps mankind' but he really did anything and everything in order to get whatever business he could at the expense of anyone. I am not once again saying that he shouldn't have done that. But he was not a nice guy and Msft was not a 'nice' corporation and by the way the amount of aggravation that OS created was truly staggering. How many people suffered because of that crap that they turned out? You'd have to live through it (as a 'normal person' not a techie who benefited from the problems because they were paid to solve them) to truly understand this.
