I'm going to be kind to you, and I'm still going to be honest (watch how easy it is to do both!). You're identifying people as deserving of kindness because of what they do for you. This is wrong. People are deserving of kindness because they are people. The mindset you describe is one that is pissing in the societal pool. It's toxic and it's foul and you should work to be better than what you have expressed here.
"Your worth is what you do for me" is the kind of transactional inhumanity that makes people put guns in their mouths and pull the trigger. Don't make the world a worse place if you can help it. And you can.
> I'm going to be kind to you, and I'm still going to be honest. You're identifying people as deserving of kindness because of what they do for you. This is wrong. People are deserving of kindness because they are people.
I agree completely.
However, to provide another perspective, that might be more convincing to people who have inclinations towards "what can this person do for me":
You'd be amazed at the difference in results you get through kindness and empathy (while still being direct and clear). You don't just get people who do what you say and respect your technical acumen. You get people who enthusiastically support you with others, who communicate your view because they see it as right, not just as a warning to others who might face your ire otherwise. You get people who actively seek you out as a resource and pull you in on projects, rather than people who do any high-risk-high-reward work behind your back because they don't want you to see it until it's beyond all possible reproach. You become a person whose input is enthusiastically valued, rather than grudgingly required. You build up a cadre of technical engineers and other future technical leaders who value and support the same things you do and understand the same considerations you do, which means the next time a similar issue arises, you might not have to be the person to deal with it personally, because you've mentored those around you.
And while this might depend on your personality, personally, I find that it produces a working culture that gives me energy to take part in, rather than one that saps energy.
So, even if your outlook on life is "how should I behave to get the results I want", I still think you'll find that empathy and kindness will produce better results for you. Leaving aside all the reasons of basic human decency.
"Your worth is what you do for me" is the kind of transactional inhumanity that makes people put guns in their mouths and pull the trigger. Don't make the world a worse place if you can help it. And you can.