After 20 years together ... I gotta say, our relationship just isn't wired that way. There's negotiation when it's needed, but it's from a position of mutual respect and not adversity. That is, we both recognize each other's needs/wants in the discussion as legitimate and go from there - there's no assumption that one of us is trying to gain power or the upper hand.

It's largely been this way from the start, and has only become more so with time. I couldn't fathom wanting to spend my life with someone I was in a constant power struggle against, or who felt she was in such a struggle against me.